The tale of a cat

Subtitle:  Does my bum make this stool look small

As you may know, I’m house/cat/goldfish sitting in Melbourne, while the owners, Peter and Lou are swanning/gondola-ing  around in Venice.  

The cats quickly got me well trained, so their daily routine has continued without any hitches.

But, trouble started when I took this photo of Fletcher, the Gentleman Cat, and sent it to his owners in Venice, and to my niece in Canada.

Here’s the photo:

Does this stool make my bum look big?

The following correspondence between my niece, who works for a solicitor, and me, will illustrate how a simple photo can create no end of bother, sleepless nights and expense. (The red font is my correspondence, the black from Alida aka Apprentice Solicitor) 

That’s Fletcher, the male cat. He was very cross at me for:
taking the photo,
b) laughing at his big bum, and
c) sending the photo to you and his owners.  I may sleep with one eye open tonight!

did you survive the night? 

 Oh, man, I’m in big trouble now! Here’s what I got from Louise (Fletcher’s owner): 

“Yvonne, you’ve done it now! 

We had an SMS from Fletch, asking for recommendations for a decent defamation lawyer. 

I would not open the door to anyone who looks like a process server. 

You have been warned. “

That cat can’t take a little joke, it seems. Here, Fletcher, nice puddy-tat, here’s some nice fish for you. And, a milk chaser.

I’m practically a lawyer now if that’s of any help to you?

Thank goodness! My defense will be that I just report the truth. 

well the truth will never work….we have to come up with something better.  let me think…..

oh, lordy, is your meter running already????

and every time I email you I have to charge you.  hey….I don’t make the rules.

Dear Blood out of a Stone and Associates
Re: Fletcher Defamation Claim
It’s OK, he gave me a list of demands:
i)    no camera near him without his knowledge,
ii)   extra milk, and
iii)  breakfast served to his basket.

I signed the agreement.
Send me your account for services rendered so far!

Yours truly


 Dear ex-client,
It appears, against our expert advice, you have decided to settle this matter with The Cat on your own and no longer require the services of our firm.  We can not be held responsible for what may occur in the future and hereby sever our relationship with you.  (This of course does not mean you should cut our valued staff member, Alida, out of your will).
We wish you luck,

So, the case has been dropped, and I think he has forgiven me, or in his cat like manner, he’s forgotten all about it. Today, as I sat on the lounge, he came and sat in my lap, which is not an every day happening.

However, I must add that because  his disputed anatomical feature wouldn’t fit onto my lap, that part sort of draped onto the lounge. Please, don’t tell him what I said, or he’ll launch another law suit.

Tough being a cat sitter.


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12 responses to “The tale of a cat

  1. He is a handsome fellow!
    He reminds me of the song “I like big bums and I cannot lie…” 😛
    HA! Some female-human-beans pay big $$$ to get an ample posterior like that and others just eat until they develop onne! 😉 😀
    HUGS!!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • He was a real gentleman, very long and lean, in fact. Lou and Pete have a new, young cat in their lives. I haven’t met her yet. They also have a beehive on their roof. Lou makes bee’s wax food wraps from the honey combs.

      Hugs to you. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • How wonderful! Yes, when cats sit or lay they are “bunched up” Ha! And when they stand up or stretch out they are l-o-n-g and lean! 🙂
        YAY for the new kitty! 🙂
        I find bee-wrangling fascinating…I have a BIL who does that, too.
        HUGS!!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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  4. Michelle

    Well, you managed to weedle yourself out of that one. Hmmm, he’s small in comparison to Mr. Milou, a neighbor cat I’ve been seeing a lot of recently. He also does not quite fit on my lap but he manages to drape himself across it.
    As Milou says, he’s not fat, he is just big boned.
    Yes, Milou, so am I.


  5. Shell, he’s such a gentle, old fashioned fellow who needs to be wooed.


  6. Hahaha!!! That’s a magnificent posterior.


  7. He’s so gorgeous, and I think the bribes have worked! I’m going to miss the cats when I go home.

    How’s life down in Mexico?


  8. Darlene

    Poor cat – victum of your and your neice’s wit.


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